Potemkinstein.

 

Whenever Mitch has something to say about Jesse Eisenberg, he mistakenly refers to him as "the Eisenstein guy" or "Jesse Eisenstein-whats-his-face". This is probably betraying more than a little bit of how much of a dorkmax I really am, because this always sends me into fits of giggles.

Sergei Eisenstein is a Russian man who was born a very long time ago. In 1898. Perhaps as a way to validate his crazy tufts of wild genius hair, Mr Eisenstein obviously decided early on that he was going to be a pioneer of Soviet cinema. I would have tried the same, but he just did such a darned good job that it seemed like a bit of a waste of effort. He's the type of guy whose ponderings fill first-year editing dossiers. His films a shown to lecture theatres filled with fresh-faced wannabe directors and editors. WHAT IS MONTAGE? Let's ask Sergei.

Anyway, can you imagine Jesse Eisenberg playing Sergei Eisenstein in a biopic? It'd be directed by Michael Bay, and every shot of Eisenberg/stein would be full of explosions and very quick pans and maybe Scarlett Johansson. I imagine Jesse Eisenberg awkwardly directing October, or of Mark Zuckerberg cruising around with Justin Timberlake around Soviet Russia, making montage like bosses.

Michael Bay presents BATTLESHIP MONTAGE: THE SERGEI EISENSTEIN STORY. 

The point of this stupid post (yes, there is one) is to inform you all that one is now able to watch Battleship Potemkin on Youtube. As well as a bunch of similarly old and classic films. Go feast your eyes and fill your brains.