I literally ran into the bathroom and laughed for about ten minutes. Then messaged a bunch of friends, telling them about this dude. Which is mean, and horrible, but I have learned that I'm a horrible person who judges people on their love of Chad Kroeger, as well as Three Doors Down.
I've had a lot of time on my hands, so I've been doing things.
Like DRAWING SHITTY PICTURES. See what no internet drives me to? Crappy TV and crappy scribblings. I even watched The Big Bang Theory last night. Next thing you know, I'll be "upvoting" things I like in really "inappropriate" ways.
Anyway, enjoy. If anyone needs me, I'll be in (r)Adelaide for the next few days. YEAH.
While I write a review of Olympus Has Fallen, which I saw last night and which was pretty ridiculous, here's a comic!
I actually found it this weekend while I was sick in bed. Went through some old notebooks, and stumbled across a scrawled version - I think the conversation occurred in an Italian hostel/bar/club/location. I dug up some hilarious nuggets of gold over the weekend, as well as some pure, undiluted stupidity. I'm not sure what this falls under.
...and this is a real, actual conversation that I had at a previous job.
Poor girl. At first I thought she was joking. Then I realised no, she's just a really, really straight-faced genuine fan of the Worst Band in the World. I am ashamed of how much my snobbery could not be quashed but shit, you try being in that situation and keeping a straight face.
This post was whipped up at the insistence of a couple of friends. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that my awkwardness knows no bounds, and that apparently said awkwardness is almost a superpower. Such is its awesomeness.
Here's but a select few true nuggets of smooth talkin' badassery!
Please, ladies and gents. Form an orderly queue, and try not to get too flustered.
I think that birds are hilarious to the point that I've almost swerved my car off the damn road while looking and laughing at a bird. Such was the force of my laughter. In fact, I'd hazard to say that birds are what distract me most when I'm driving around. Apart from dogs. Birds are a close second. Birds are what distract me second most when I'm driving around. Not attractive, snake-hipped men, not the pretty girls in summer dresses, not shiny cars or beautiful vistas.
Birds.
I'm not distracted by birds while they're flying, mind you. What's so special about a flying birds? Nothing. That's what birds do; they fly. It'd be like saying, "Oh boy! Look at that toaster toasting!" or "Look at how that leaf blower blows leaves!" or being amazed at Charlie Sheen as he goes about a drug-fueled rampage.
Basically, I think there's an entirely under-appreciated and oft-ignored world of delight to be had watching birds as they go about their business on the ground. In watching majestic and super cool winged animals journey from A to B using their lesser limbs.
Have you ever watched a bird walk? It's amazing. It's adorable. It's like watching the most awkward, nerdy and ill-equipped-for-life person you know wear a pair of trousers about four sizes too small, hoisting them up as far as they'll go, and then being told to march into battle.
Birds are incredibly clumsy, uncomfortable and awkward when they walk, and it pleases me no end. So graceful in flight, yet such dorky, waddling nerds on land. Even eagles, such majestic and powerful beings when in the air, are truly, truly endearingly gawky when they walk. Maybe it's precisely because birds are so impressive in the sky that I find them so endearing and comical when on the ground. In any case, I think I'd like to hit a dance floor with an eagle; we'd be a match made in heaven.
Seriously, look closely at the next bird you see walking. You won't be disappointed.
Finding that short clip just sent me into a Youtube vortex of birds walking that lasted about an hour. An HOUR. Of watching puffins, crows and penguins waddle around, and watching a toucan fall into a sink.
