Sunday, April 22, 2012

Words I Hate.

Some words and phrases just make my blood boil. They just do. Some words - or Australian colloquialisms to be more precise - used to puzzle the bejeezus out of me when I was a kid, having grown up in a house where English was not language numero uno. For instance, the first few times I heard "togs" or "arvo" or "goon" (seriously, what kind of a dumb-ass word is that?) I was like, "bitch please, you ain't speaking Ingles".

That was then, and this is now, however. The confusion and amusement of that batch of words has faded. What's taken their place is the following list of words that I despise, and which make me feel anger and repulsion upon hearing them used. Not because I don't understand them, but because I think they are the very height of dumb.

Maybe that's a little strong, but you understand what I'm trying to say.

Drinkies - No. Drinkies? That trying-to-make-something-sound-super-cute thing? No. You are NOT going to have "drinkies" with your super BFFs. When you say that the mental image in my head is of champagne in a pink hummer and shrill, shrieking laughter from a row of faces that someone's pasted rage face derp images onto. I'm sorry!! I'm honestly very sorry. But it's true. If you send me a message suggesting we "Go out for drinkies tonight!" then you can rest assured I will be thinking twice about any activity that night, involving drinkies or otherwise.

"Much of a muchness" - What does that even mean? If what you're trying to say is "not much of a difference" then SAY that. PLEASE Over the years I've mostly stopped judging people harshly on incorrect grammar or use of words (she said as she wrote this blog post...), but that doesn't mean that "much of a muchness" won't send my blood to boiling point and my palm to my face. To me, this phrase makes no sense whatsoever and should be sent to the special fiery pits of hell reserved for people who miss the bowl and hit the seat while urinating, and the oevre of Nicholas Sparks.

Cuddles - Okay, fine. You got me. This one's probably more a result of my having become super super jaded over the years, because I'm sure I used to happily talk about cuddles all the time. I was talking to Mitts earlier in the week and struggled to continue with my anecdote at one point because of my aversion to using the word "cuddles" and I couldn't for the life of my think of an alternative. Mitts then began to strongly defend the merits of the word "cuddles", so maybe I'm alone in thinking that it's kind of gross. Not the act of cuddles. The word. Which is weird, because "snuggle" is fine to me. Whatever. Shut up, okay?

Missus - If you ever, ever refer to me as your "missus" I swear to all that is holy I will teach Elvis to sick balls. Being called "babe" is worthy of a withering glare, but "the missus" is something else entirely.

Drop - I don't mean this in a "you're dropped!" sense. What I'm referring to is, "THEIR ALBUM'S GONNA DROP NEXT MONTH". Or "the first single dropped from her new album!". Since when has drop/dropped/dropping (hahaha....dropping...) been A Thing? I am genuinely curious. In my opinion, it sounds super silly and the day I use it in a sentence in a straight-faced way is a dark day indeed.

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